Come Out Allies
Our Allies, Come Out, Come Out!
When we think of an ally, we think of someone who will have our back, regardless of the circumstances.
Allies are protectors and defenders. LGBTQIAS+ individuals searching for inclusive services is a task not taken lightly by many within the LGBTQIAS+ community. Unfortunately, in today’s anti-LGBTQIAS+ climate, society has a license to speak out against LGBTQIAS+ humans in public or make open derogatory comments on their social media platforms, and even lawmakers are getting in on the act, which has been dangerous in some cases.
What used to be, “As long as they do what I’m paying them to do,” is now, “I won’t hire them unless I know they're inclusive,” is the common answer from most couples and individuals.
After the “YES,” many inclusive couples begin with LGBTQIAS+ directories or ask friends and family for referrals of inclusive services.
An ignorant comment can bring the planning process to a stop.
Ask the question. “Are you or your staff trained and educated in inclusion and diversity? Do they understand the difference between equity and equality? These are the conversations where LGBTQIAS+ individuals know “your true colors.”
Most people would say that they are inclusive, but most people don’t know what they don’t know about inclusive practices—unless you’re an LGBTQIAS+ individual!
Inclusive wedding professionals are leaders and brave enough to stand up in an industry suffocated by hetero norms, leaving little to no room for LGBTQIAS+ couples or individuals.
LGBTQIAS+ individuals support brands and services that support them or other marginalized communities or charities. The LGBTQIAS+ community contributes billions of dollars to the wedding and event industry; most will follow the money!
The LGBTQIAS+ community has fought for equal rights since the first brick was thrown at Stonewall fifty years ago. Today, many identify better with companies who give back to others.
Do you give back?
Since same-sex marriage became legal in all fifty states in 2015, the wedding and event industry has generated billions of dollars. Take a moment to realize how that much cash is being infused into any industry and continues today. Thank your inclusive wedding and event peers who supported same-sex marriage from the beginning and understood the importance of inclusive practices from the beginning. These are allies.
With Pride Month here, take a moment to reflect on the inclusiveness of your website and social media platforms. On average, visitors take thirty seconds to identify if you’re an inclusive professional. Are you?
Happy Pride!
Advise for couples:
If your wedding venue has a “Bridal Suite” and not a “Couple’s Suite,” keep looking!
Inclusiveness in a venue or any business begins with the owners or management. If management is not concerned about being inclusive to all couples, keep searching.
We learn quickly who our allies are and how to spot them. Sometimes, instinct or our gut tells us this. Listen to your intuition.
You are about to pay for wedding services to celebrate one, if not the most important, day of your life! So, who do you want to pay? An inclusive wedding professional who has your back throughout the planning process, or take your chances on another.
Don’t be shy. Asking the right questions continues to send the message throughout the wedding and event industry that inclusive practices matter!
Ask about gay-owned wedding or event businesses. Having wedding allies around you on the day of your wedding is essential. You’re nervous and want everything to be perfect, so don’t play around when hiring inclusive wedding professionals.
Ric Simmons
Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Creator and Coach
Award-Winning Speaker / Publisher
Founder and President - Inclusive Wedding Alliance - Inclusive, the magazine - The Inclusive Wedding Index.
Creator and Coach in "The Ten Steps To Inclusive Practices, Gen Z POV"
Diversity, Equity, and Inclusive DEI National Chairperson, NACE
Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion DEI Board Member, NACE Palm Springs Chapter